beautiful mess

english is not my first language, so sorry in advance if i make some mistakes while writing this review, plus this review might contain spoilers... also, this is my first time writing any kind of review, but i think hira & kiyoi deserved it, so i'm writing it...

with that being said, let me just begin.

if you decide to watch this series, you'll meet two characters - hira & kiyoi - who for the life of them couldn't be any more different than they already are and there is no possible way you would ever pair them in any lifetime, but as you get more & more involved with their story, you end up realising that those two characters could only be with each other and are in fact a perfect match.

at first sight, hira is a nobody, a loner, a creep, a stalker, annoying and whatnot, mockery to all, being bullied by his classmates. at some point you even start thinking that there's something seriously wrong with him for putting up with such violence & that's that, there is no help. also with kiyoi, at first sight, he's god-like beautiful, but with harsh personality, cruel tounge and overall hard person to go by with.

but once you turn the tables...

you end up seeing hira in a different light - hira is in fact very strong, caring, devoted, shows more determination to express his feelings and has no fear, only the one... to live in a world without kiyoi; even the thought alone can shred him to pieces. and he's beautiful in that way, his strong sense of what he wants & who he is, that's what makes him so beautiful, plus he's def not ugly, like that man is actually attractive.

and kiyoi... he's always god-like beautiful, that never changes; in any scenario, kiyoi is always the mesmerizing one. but because of his past, he's also very insecure, needs constant attention & craves affection that focuses only on him & him alone, all the time, with persons whole being, eyes only fixed on him.

kiyoi had that feeling with only one person in the entire world and it was hira. thousand eyes could look at him, but nobody has ever looked at him the way hira did & nobody ever will.

so kiyoi, who can have any person in the world cause people are literally throwing themselves at him, remains single cause he can't be with anybody he doesn't feel has the same devoted look in their eyes as hira had for him.

as for hira, he always remained loyal to his worship of kiyoi, but has always thought of himself as unworthy of him.

first thing that has to be understood about their story is that it's taking course of several years, not only a few weeks or months. literal years of their relationship were put into 10 episodes (season 1 + 2) that lasted 20+ mins each + almost 2 hours long movie. so we see their relationship progress since highschool till adulthood.

what i loved the most, besides superb acting & story, was the fact that directors did such an amazing job with portraying years long relationship history into such a short episode time & it all made sense, nothing was left unsaid. even if you didn't read the novel first, you could understand everything just from watching. the series script did some changes from the original novel story, but those were not some troubling changes, cause the core of the novel was left intact. (i did read the novel after watching the series, yes, i couldn't help myself & couldn't even sleep until i finished reading volume 1 xd)

and the acting itself, i absolutely loved it. in my eyes, everything that riku & yusei did in that series was just filled with emotions. i loved the way they acted together, and while reading the first volume of their story, i could even imagine their faces, glances, mimics, voices... they are the perfect actors for hira & kiyoi roles. period.

then the story itself... i'll never understand people who are saying that to them hira is not a top, but a bottom & who were genuinley shocked upon learning that hira is the top, while kiyoi is the bottom. to me it was perfectly clear that hira is the top ever since that scene in the series when he clutched kiyois hand & without any shame or fear or anything really confessed his feelings for kiyoi in a heartbeat (was it in episode 2 or 3?), calling him the person he loves most in this world. only a strong person could do that. that was not a behaviour of a weak person. that was a behaviour of a person who knew exactly what he wanted & who he wanted. and it has always been kiyoi. anyway, that scene right there made it all clear to me. and then kiyoi pushed hira away, cause he was afraid of his own feelings.

filmography was also beautiful. it felt like universe only for hira & kiyoi. i loved how the scenery reflected their personalities as well. for example, hiras house gave me this warm feeling that hiras character gave me & for example, shooting scenes with kiyoi gave me that kiyoi celebrity feeling. anyway, i felt like every scene was just perfect reflection of their story. and the music matched their facial expressions so well that at moments it made me cry.

overall, for me this was not just another bl story. it was like a new dimension of bl universe. i have never seen anything like this before, this story is so unique & creative. i applaud the author itself, the script crew, the production team, design team, directors, casting crew... everyone did amazing job with bringing hira & kiyoi story to life.

to say i only loved this series is an understatement. cause this story will forever remain a part of me.

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