I watched Your Name Engraved Within 2 years ago and loved it so much that I searched for more info and fell on a Reddit convo where people kept mentioning this term “BL.”  I knew all about the LGBT genre, but never heard of the Asian genre called BL. One person on Reddit mentioned a show called Addicted on Viki.  So I subscribed to Viki for one month and watched Addicted. I then changed my subscription to a year because I wanted to watch more BL’s. And more.  And more. And more.   

In short, I was hooked!  But I also felt vaguely frustrated because I could not figure out why  I,  as a hetero woman, liked BL so much.   I’d heretofore thought gay men were the prime market for gay content. Yet my research showed that BLs are created by women, marketed to women, and consumed by women.  Most people -- especially those who've never heard of BL before -- find this baffling.  I even avoid telling people that I enjoy BL because I worry they'll think I'm the reader/viewer equivalent of a "fag hag."  After all, the Japanese translation of fujoshi is “rotten girl.” 

We may have reclaimed the label "fujoshi"  to wear it proudly  (reclaiming is a fabulous act of defiance for which we have blacks to thank, as they began it by reclaiming the n-word), yet I still worry that people think there’s something rotten about us.  For instance, some people accuse fujoshis of fetishizing gay men.  Now, if I had such a sexual fetish I’d simply watch gay porn.  So, no,  my reason for watching BL is not about a fetish.   Yet I could not come up with any other reasons either.   This placed me in the curious predicament of not understanding my very own tastes.

Thus, I began to research BL in order to better understand myself, and my community (ie, you guys!).   I am an English Professor and, as such, have access to  academic journals, including  dissertations  by Doctoral Candidates in  Queer Studies. Surprisingly, they've written tons on BL's from every Asian country. It's even the hot, new topic in  Queer Studies! They delve into a multitude of theses but I, of course, zoomed in on the question of why women were BL's main market. I waded through the academic jargon of over fifty papers and noted that 3 reasons continually appeared (1-3 below), and then I came up with 2 reasons of my own (4-5 below).   I would love it if you guys could add some reasons.  Or expound on the 5 reasons I already have.


1) Women enjoy witnessing a relationship wherein both partners are on an equal footing, since both are men.

2) BL's allow women to see men's softer, vulnerable side.

3) It makes women feel as if they're privy to the secret lives of men which, in turn, makes women feel closer to men in general.

4) The dramatic conflict in BL's is inherently more compelling because gays still aren't entirely accepted in Asia. That is to say, the stakes are higher for a gay couple, making the dramatic interest higher for we viewers.

5) Just as hetero men like lesbians in porn because it's a hot girl x's two, we hetero women like BLs because it's a hot guy x's two. Lol.

Reason 1:  Women enjoy witnessing a relationship wherein both partners are on an equal footing, since both are men. 

I had discussed Reason #1 with someone this week who felt that BL’s actually do not portray couples on an equal footing, because they often portray  inequality of income.  I agreed that we often see the Rich Boy + Poor Boy trope.  However, when Queer Studies Theorists discuss  equality in BL's they do not mean economic but, rather, equality in domestic life and personal interactions.   This is the sort of equality that we do not witness in heterosexual relationships.

 For example, consider the inequality in a hetero relationship wherein the woman gets stuck cooking, cleaning, raising the children and planning all the family's social activities.  Women are also expected to be the more passive partner, while it's assumed that the more aggressive man will always have the last word when making major decisions. Consider how often we hear kids ask their mothers' permission for something, only to have the mother tell their kids, "Wait until your father gets home and see what he says."

Moreover, consider how it's still regarded as the man's role to propose marriage to a woman. It's actually rather shocking that in 2023 it's still up to the man to make this vital, life altering decision, while the woman is relegated to the role of merely replying with a yes or no. Simply put, the man acts, while the woman merely reacts.

Of course, I know women who were proactive and proposed to their boyfriends first. Alas, these women were considered pushy and aggressive when their friends, family and colleagues heard about it. The unspoken rule is that assertiveness is only acceptable in a man, which is why it's only acceptable for the man to propose marriage. In a gay relationship, however, either partner can pop the question and society would not judge either of them as  aggressive for doing so.

If one of the men in a gay relationship assumes the more aggressive role, then that would be the result of his individual personality simply being more aggressive than his lover's. It would not be the result of society assigning him the role of the aggressor. This is crucial, because in hetero relationships, it is society that assigns the aggressive role to the man, and the passive role to the woman.

These roles are imposed on us from outside, societal forces without our having any individual participation in the matter. With a gay couple, however, such roles are entirely determined by each man's individual personality. In short, they are each equally free to determine their own roles, whereas the woman does not have this same freedom in a hetero relationship.  Society has already determined her role to be passive since birth.

When we consider all these factors, it makes a male/male relationship appear pleasantly equal.  Hence, it's a top reason for why women enjoy witnessing such a relationship in BL.

it all started with Boys love aka shounen ai.  and Yaoi

Yep, that's where it started in Japan in the 1970's.  And it was defined as being a genre created by women, marketed to women, and consumed by women.  But the question is:  why?  Why do women like BL so much? 

 Maggi64:

Yep, that's where it started in Japan in the 1970's.  And it was defined as being a genre created by women, marketed to women, and consumed by women.  But the question is:  why?  Why do women like BL so much? 

personally i have no idea. I think it has to do with attraction towards men i guess?

I am a woman but i am not hetero. and I definitely like women more, better to say femininity more than masculinity. So two masc men kissing will never be a turn on for me.

But i am a sucker for wlw romances. Like i have seen endless. and if two feminine guys kiss, i am a sucker for that as well. "for me its like, i like women, a woman kissing another woman ? woah!!!"

So, i think for hetero women, its like, "i like a man" " i like man kissing a woman." " oh wait i like another man" ," wouldn't it be better if both the guys kissed? two of the people i am attracted to kissing each other"

this is the best explanation i can think of.

Another thing, ive watched a handful of BL myself, because of the plot. I tell you they have the finest plots out there. sure im not into steamy bls. but cute fluffy ones with extremely good plot. yes i am a sucker for it, but thats probably because of the relatability. 

I love GL too.  But since I'm a hetero woman I want to see men onscreen more, so I prefer BL where it's a cute guy x's2 .   lol.   BTW, my Top 5 favorite GL's are: 

1] The Handmaiden (Korean)

2] My Summer of Love (English)

3] Carol  (American)

4] Bound (American)

5] The Incredibly True Story of  Two Girls In Love (American)

Carol is on Netflix.  It's spectacular!   You can watch The Handmaiden for free on sites such as Kissasian and Dramacool.  The other 3 films are 20+ years old, so they are harder to find.  But they are out there!

 Maggi64:
1] The Handmaiden (Korean)

handmaiden is the exact opposite of BL. it was made for men and by men. anyway i enjoyed it nonetheless lmao

I don't really watch BL dramas (partly because I prefer platonic relationships and most BLs I have seen were on the steamier side) but I LOVE watching bromance, and the first 3 reasons you mentioned pretty much sum it all up. When I watch dramas I usually don't care about female characters and just focus on male leads, and having multiple male leads is always more fun. 

Handmaiden was made by men, but it was based on a novel by the lesbian novelist Patricia Highsmith.  So the story is still by an LGBT creator.   

Kilo, if you enjoy Bromance then you should check out the new Chinese Bromance called Stay With Me.  It's a based on a BL novel, but since China bans gay representation in the media, the show turned the story into a bromance.  It's  a very sweet little story about a rich kid and the poor kid whom he admires.  Oh, and the rich kid's dad just happened to have recently married the poor kid's mother!

 Klio:

I don't really watch BL dramas (partly because I prefer platonic relationships and most BLs I have seen were on the steamier side) but I LOVE watching bromance, and the first 3 reasons you mentioned pretty much sum it all up. When I watch dramas I usually don't care about female characters and just focus on male leads, and having multiple male leads is always more fun. 

agree and disagree.  

agreeing that, I don't watch or like steamy bls either. not my cup of tea. 

disagree, that bromance is just queer bait. the leads don't have to go all 365 days or 50 shades of grey on each other, they don't even have to kiss, a confirmation of love is enough

 Maggi64:

Kilo, if you enjoy Bromance then you should check out the new Chinese Bromance called Stay With Me.  It's a based on a BL novel, but since China bans gay representation in the media, the show turned the story into a bromance.  It's  a very sweet little story about a rich kid and the poor kid whom he admires.  Oh, and the rich kid's dad just happened to have recently married the poor kid's mother!

yes im gonna watch it. I just hoped, they would confirm a relationship. not even a kiss id required. :(( but china be china

Another reason to add to your list is purely escapism.

Without a woman on the screen, which you identify with on at least those grounds, you increase the psychic distance between yourself and the characters in the story. You're not putting yourself as fully in their shoes as events are going down.

Taking this even further and in a slightly different direction, you're not thinking about how [insert woman character here] isn't realistic (much the same reason why even some gay guys won't watch BL).

Wow, that's a terrific theory!  And it applies specifically to me.  You see, I am 55, single and have no desire to date or remarry.   When I was younger and dating I enjoyed hetero romances because I projected myself into the female role (either consciously or subconsciously).   These days I don't even want to think about a  man as a potential partner.  And when I watch a gay male love story, well, I don't have to!    Instead, BL's offer me the kind of  "distance" that you cited .   


Thank you for a terrific contribution to the discussion, 

 Assassin Wench:
love finding good and new stories with interesting characters, and I think the BL or LGBT focus makes for interesting stories compared to the mainstream

This is a good reason too. Watching stories about different kinds of people than yourself, as they go through either different experiences than the usual story, or the story gets told in a different way.


(I also agree with the language part - I am learning Thai, and Thai BLs are a lot easier to find with subtitles than Thai lakorns and movies)