Minha Vez de Amar (2024)

A heartfelt study of sex, love, and relationships

Don’t mistake this for a sex comedy, and please ignore the inadequate plot description above.

With full-bodied characters that move beyond cliches, this Taiwanese drama is a bold study of what makes our relationships intimate and meaningful. It’s beautifully made, with an excellent script and cast.

The story is told through one family. Two parents, three children.

The mother and father have allowed resentment to build up in their marriage for reasons that become clear later in the drama. The eldest son, Yu Sen, is a card shark in an unsatisfying open relationship with his boyfriend. The eldest daughter, Chu Wei, yearns for a deeper emotional and sexual connection with her distracted professor husband. And the youngest daughter, Chu Ai, is a wax technician and an influencer. She runs a YouTube channel that offers frank discussions about sex, while maintaining her key argument that love and sex are two separate things and are better when separate.

There’s another main character—the youngest daughter’s regular hookup and friend, Ping Ke, who is wrestling with hangups about dating culture based on his unconventional family history. The actor, Kai Ko, brings this character to life in a way that only he can. He carries the character’s emotional weight with his whole being and you truly feel for him.

Well, what happens?

A heartfelt and unexpected romance unfolds between the son and an uncouth gangster. For BL fans, this part of the story is for you. The eldest daughter and her husband rediscover each other after a challenge to their relationship. And the youngest daughter confronts a past experience that has influenced her opinion of romantic relationships. All of the characters grow.

A central message in the story is that it is harmful to repress our true feelings—whether about our intimate desires and needs or even our anger toward the people closest to us. The message is that our relationships become healthier when we share our inner thoughts.

The script dares to approach so many relevant issues that aren't always talked about; like choosing not to have children, despite pressure from parents; or sexual compatibility issues in gay relationships; or treating STIs without shame. These are just a few. The drama is clever in discussing these issues without being didactic.

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This was supposed to be a hard pass

Netflix decided to constantly remind me about the release of this series. After reading the synopsis and watching a bit of the trailer, I was sure that this would be something I wouldn't enjoy. I was way too bored to give this a chance, if I am being honest.

After its release and its very low rating here on MDL I was even more reluctant (even though I know that most of the times non-Korean series are rated lower).

One tiktok video later, I thought I could just watch the first five minutes and then just drop it or skip through it, mostly to indulge my curiosity. Those first five minutes turned into the first four episodes that I ended up watching till four in the morning...

I tried to think of something not to give this a perfect score, but in the end, I actually had no complains. This is the definition of a binge-worthy series with great acting, good plot and high entertainment value that doesn't fail to offer some emotional moments.

Noteworthy things:

=> No awkwardness detected
This is a series focused on (sexual) relationships. It has a lot of sex scenes and many references to sex from conversations to table lambs. That being said, all actors had great chemistry with one another and I didn't feel awkward at all when watching it. There was no stiffness. Everything felt very natural.

=> No romantic music playing in the background while the two leads first fish kiss
This series focuses on sex, lust (and love) while also giving us some swoon worthy moments, without it feeling like the ''too good to be true'' moments we usually watch in series where all the main characters are perfect in every way, shape or form and where holding hands is the peak of their relationship.

=> Educational
I will say that this actually had many interesting facts when it comes to sex with the videos during the credits (don't miss them) being a great example.

=> Everyone was interesting
I have this problem with series with multiple couples. Most of the times, the main one gets the most screen time and is boring as hell, while all the others are great with almost zero screen time. There was nothing like that here. Every couple and every character was interesting. Everyone had their story to tell. Everyone had their own difficulties and definition of a relationship. Everyone was there for a reason. For once, I didn't roll my eyes every time they showed the mains or generally any of the characters.

=> Nude scenes
Something that I found pretty interesting is the absence of nude scenes. Even though the series has lots of sex scenes, it doesn't really show that much nude.

=> Balance
This was the cherry on top. Everything felt ideal when it came to balance. There were the sad scenes, the funny scenes, the cute scenes, the ''oh my God I can't believe he did that'' scenes. I just felt very content watching this from beginning to end.

=> Different stages of life
We had like four main relationships, where the characters belonged in different age groups. Most of the times younger people are the focus on series about love/sex. Even though two of the mains belonged to younger age groups, we also had two other couples that were in a relationship for a very long time and belonged to different (and older) age groups. As a result we got insight in their life and how things can be after being with someone for a longer time.

=> This wasn't just a fun watch
The series deals with many issues without being over the top or too dramatic. Some of them involve homosexuality, loss of passion after marriage, love vs sex (and trauma), toxic relationships.

I am 100% sure this will be my answer at the end of the year in the ''which is the most underrated series of 2024'' question. This is a very well-made series that unfortunately doesn't get the attention it deserves and that is the main reason I am writing this review.

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