I hold this movie close to my heart.

I initially started watching it because I was bored and looking for a quick, light hearted BL to watch. Let me tell you watch, I didn’t really vibe with Blueming on the first ep and considered dropping it on the second one, but my gut told me to keep watching it and good lord was it the best cinematic experience I could ever watch.

I’m going to be completely honest, my high rating is a little bit biased and I’m aware of that, but if i was going to erase all my memories and watch it again I’d rate it like this.

I don’t think I could ever find a character I can relate to as much as Si-woon in my entire 21 years of breathing. We’re both the oldest in the family, both have divorced parents, both had to sit there and watch their parents fight everyday, both had to watch their moms suffer from their childhood to when they’re adults, both were isolated and bullied by people around them, and both of us also have similar traumas and hardships we’re facing (except my dad’s a billion times worse than his dad), even the relationship Si-woon had with his mom is similar to mine and my mom. Watching him throughout the entire movie felt like I was looking at a mirror, or that Si-woon was just me in another timeline (but as a guy, and instead of having a brother i have a sister).

I absolutely love and applaud how realistic this movie is, and it really really peaked for me when Si-woon’s mom watched his movie. I fully expected a touching scene where his mom would come to him and say “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this your entire life,” and their family issues would be perfectly fixed. I was confident with my plot predicting skills when I’ve already watched so many movies my entire life, instead it went completely different from what I’d laid out in my head. Episode 10 was truly the most impactful episode for me, absolutely peak. I could feel every word they say with my body, like I was in the room with the characters. It’s scary how the ego could so firmly prevent one from admitting their own mistakes and acknowledge the fact that other people also go through just as much pain and suffering as you do, doesn’t matter if it’s more or less, pain is different for every person. Crazy thing is I also went through the exact same thing with my mom like what happened in this episode recently, which made this episode even more emotional and endearing to me.

And I guess because of how much I could see myself in the main character, I have an even stronger connection with this film, I spent every second of my days analyzing the film, from the scenery, the colors, the micro expressions of the actors, the music, everything. This film doesn’t just tell a generic, typical college love story, it also talks about grown adults still dealing with childhood traumas, how parental issues, living in a problematic home, peer pressure and bullying can deeply affect a person from childhood to adulthood. It shows us how the characters grow, how they learn to be more honest and confident in themselves, how they healed their traumas, comfort their inner child and filled each of their empty spaces with love and compassion. It’s something I’ve been trying to do for myself for a while.

I genuinely just want to give a big big hug to the director and the scrip writers, the original author and everyone who worked so hard on this movie. It’s definitely one of the best few kdramas I’ve watched for the past 5 years, and I don’t even want to call it a BL drama because it’s way more than just “BL”. I’m so glad I watched this show and I’ve finally found a movie that can top Semantic Error. This will forever be my comfort show for the rest of my life and I’m gonna be patiently waiting for season 2 now!!

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