Porque Esta é a Minha Primeira Vida
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Spoilers!!!!Beautiful story and concept but the ending with how the main couple gets back together was extremely toxic.
I really enjoyed this drama. Loved the storylines and the chemistry between each of the couples was wonderful. The ensemble felt very flowing. The conclusion that love and marriage can look different to everybody and you just have to work that out between partners was amazing.
However, I have a big issue with one of the message about relationships; we learn that Ji Ho knew that Se Hee was going to confess before she decided to end the contract and move out. She tells everyone else that she loves him but wants him to open up his most vulnerable self to her. But, she doesn't tell him that. Instead, she lies about why she's leaving. She could have said, "I want to end the contract because I'm having feelings. Can we talk about that and whether you are, too, and whether we want to be a real couple?" Instead, she tortures him. Knowing that he's in love with her, she leads him to believe she is traveling far away and has ended everything. Also knowing that a lot of his pain is from having been abandoned by someone he loved before. He's literally in a bad emotional state and I'd argue in a state of actual depression. Meanwhile, she's having fun in Seoul at the hostel and with her friends. Laughing it up at the sauna, etc.
When they are reunited, she doesn't wake him up to talk. She talks to him while he's half asleep, thinking he's dreaming. When he wakes up, she acts as if its completely normal that she's there doing laundry and making breakfast. He's rightfully angry. She smiles. He's rightfully angry that she's smiling. But, somehow, she gets to apologize with a smile on her face and be happy that he's angry and its all okay?
If someone had done this to me, I'd be over them. It was manipulative and cruel. It was TOXIC. I'd never trust her again. Here was this man who, despite his wounds, was always considerate and kind. He was definitely overly-cautious. But, he was so respectful of boundaries. He was protective. In his shocked state, after seeing his ex, he still thought to make her some tea. You don't always need words to know that someone loves you. Those actions are far more telling. If you fell in love with this person, why are trying to make him be different? And, if you need something from him, why don't you just say so instead of this cruel, underhanded behavior?
I really loved the chemistry between them up until this point. I never understood why she took the route she did. I agreed with her mother, "you're talking crap." She's wrapping up her destructive behavior in the romanticized metaphor of a story about a woman who ended up committing suicide. What the heck?
Why does everyone find what she did romantic? I ended up not liking her and worried about what else she might do in the future if things weren't going her way. She's actually a little twisted. It bothers me that no one is critical of this. That this is seen as something to aspire to. Don't treat people the way she did.
This is a shame. Crappy plot devices meant to drag the show's run time is what honestly ruined a top 5 drama for me. It was a complete disrespect for everything the drama stood for, especially in terms of characters and breaking cliches. But most importantly, it was a disrespect of the values this show held of how to make a strong relationship: Honesty and communication. This show spoke a lot about those concepts and the ending of it completely takes a hard dump on all of that. If your plot device/cliche could be cleared up by one sentence, you've already lost.
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Bad Ending and Bad Message of the Show?
I've only seen a few reviews critique this, so I would really like to make my own review and point this out myself....while I personally loved the things most people disliked, including slow-pace and the 'small town' vibes, I did not like how this show ended. I feel like this whole contrived "main romance couple must split up" cliche is way overdone in dramas; it's very frustrating. Even so, I can tolerate it if it makes any sense. Hae Won was miserable in the city, couldn't find a good job, and was happy with Eun Sub, and chose to break up with him and forget him?? He did not deserve that at all, it was honestly super effed up. She had just yelled at her aunt about families sharing pain, and as soon as she had an issue she completely ditched Eun Sub. She opened his heart and made him love her even more and then just ditched him. Felt like she just used him to get forward emotionally throughout the whole drama. And now what? Is she only staying a short time, and just going to ditch him again? The ending did not make it clear how long she planned to stay. I want to rate this drama good since it still made me happy but the ending just made the main female seem like the whole drama and romance was a lie or just something for her to pass the time. Meanwhile Eun Sub literally has had trauma and fears his entire life of being abandoned and ditched, and she did just that because she know he would continue loving her regardless. I'm sorry but I just cannot get behind this ending, because it really ruined the entire show for me. I'm so angry and disappointed right now.As another quick note, I saw very little chemistry between the leads. I understand that Eun Sub cannot express his love as openly as other people can, and I really appreciated Seo Kang Joon's amazing acting for the overlooked but important things like that and his versatility as always. However, I simply sensed very little chemistry from them at all. It's weird because I always thought chemistry came with great actors, but really after seeing this drama I understand the concept of chemistry now. They're both amazing actors and yet I felt as if their chemistry was garbage. Maybe both actors or one or the other failed to convince me that they loved the other. Not sure what it was, but it honestly felt a little souless.
The story was handled carelessly not only in the ending romance but its depiction of abuse victims. Someone reviewed this more thoroughly than me, but the way this show portrays victims of a monster and the way it creates sympathy for an abuser just because he was nice to other people is seriously damaging. It's quite awful to see such archaic viewpoints coming out of a first world and developed country like South Korea. This way of thinking is why abuses of all nature are not reported, but especially so coming from women and wives in households. I don't wish to elaborate further because this honestly would make me rage and cuss. This depiction of the aunt and mom being in the wrong for literally defending themselves is sickening and wrong. This is patriarchy at its finest, and S. Korea needs to do better as a society. It's effing shameful.
I want to make it very clear that just because someone is kind half, or even most of the time, but still abuses another creature, they are still trash and an abuser. They are not "complex" or "hard to understand" or "not like other people", they are a monster plain out and simple. And if you are an abuse victim or knows anybody that is, you have the right to defend yourself. You have the right to defend yourself and you do not deserve to be treated like this, ever. Just because you care for someone or they're sometimes nice, or even if you have a child/family together, it does not make their actions okay. They are a monster who needs to be stopped and doesn't deserve sympathy. Even if you do not want legal action to happen, even in jail there are ways for people like that to get psychological help to become better. Do not spend your life away and time you'll never get back by staying around an abuser. Get help and send secret messages if you must. Seriously, screw this show for promoting this sort of thinking.
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Good Actors, Bad Drama
I honestly regret sinking the time I did into this drama. The story was garbage due to bad character writing and development. The characters and overarching plot had everything laid out to be something unique and a good drama; they really could've made this into a masterpiece. Instead, they chose the worst way to go about telling this story. If you have to throw common sense out the window and dumb down your characters in order for the plot to work..then your plot doesn't work. If you have to have a bad guy "oops" and casually mention something they shouldn't have in order for the plot to work...your plot doesn't work. The writers not only disrespected us viewers, the actors, the crew that works 12+ hour days tirelessly on set for months and months, but also themselves by writing such a cheap story this way. Writing your characters to be beyond stupid might make your job easier as a writer, but people will no longer be interested in your story. No one likes cheap plot tricks; no one. There's a difference between dumb decisions/character naivety and just plain stupidity that's clearly made to push the plot forward. 99.9% of issues could've been avoided had the characters used common sense befitting that of any intelligent life on planet Earth. To me, that is the definition of bad writing.I found it really hard to watch; if dramas start to get frustrating for me, I speed them up to get through it quicker. Normally I try not to speed it up so quickly so that I can still retain details. Well this is the fastest I've sped up anything, including my college video lectures. I had to watch the last few episodes in 2.5x speed in order to get through it, I just couldn't take it anymore.
Some things I actually liked about this drama was the music and actors. The actors were the most disrespected in this drama, because their performance was better than this story deserved. To me, Seok Hoon carried this show. I was more interested in Min Woo's plotline at first, but throughout the whole thing was the most fascinated with Seok Hoon as a character. The complexities of his character are honestly amazing and it's the only prop I can give to writers. I personally don't mind the ending "change" but I also think it could be argued that it went against what they had built his character on for 20 episodes. Regardless, his character is one of the most interesting out of any TV and movies I've seen. I am very interested in seeing more of Yeon Jung Hoon because I honestly think he should win an award for this role. (I think that would require someone forcing themselves to sit through 20 hours of foolishness, though.) If you happen to be a fan of the actor, this is a great role to see him in, but be prepared for the rest of the drama you'll painfully have to watch.
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The K2: A Missed Opportunity That Fumbled Its Potential Due to One Character's Existence...
***Major Spoilers***I try to give thorough reviews, normally of higher quality and good writing/pacing, but this will be a more scattered review. I just want to start by saying I watched it for the first time and I have to say, this show aged too poorly. Korean production has significantly improved in recent years, both in terms of quality and narrative depth. Society has developed in a different direction with its portrayals. So now, watching in 2024 (and as an adult) I have to say that the drama shows its age. This wasn't an enjoyable watch due to the poor plotline, the ridiculous level of disbelief I'm expected to suspend, and outdated character portrayals. What started as a strong political thriller quickly devolved into a frustratingly poor viewing experience.
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A Promising Start That Went Off the Rails
Like many others, I feel that this show was a missed opportunity. This show started out soo good. It truly had so much potential—an action-packed story centered on a framed mercenary navigating political intrigue while battling his own trauma. This premise alone could have carried the entire series. Sadly, the writers derailed this promising narrative by forcing a romance that felt unnecessary and contrived. The transition from gripping political drama to sappy love story was jarring and destroyed the show’s cohesion. From that point the romance was introduced and on, everything in the show became little more than a stepping stone to prop up the most forced romance known to man. So many interesting side characters that likely got their content cut due to the heavy focus on the needless romance that the show could have gone without.
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The Utterly Needless and Forced Romance
The romance between K2 and Anna was one of the most forced I’ve ever seen -- actually, I have to say if my memory serves me right... the WORST I've seen. I'm not being hyperbolic. I have been watching dramas since I was 10, so it's been 16 years now. And in all my time, this has been the most forced. I’m supposed to believe K2 started falling for Anna because she danced with ramen and looked 'pure'? Really? 😂 Give me a break. Watching K2 gush about her while he basically creeped on her through the camera felt more like a blooper and Ji Chang Wook playing himself rather than his character. I think he's a good actor and in that moment, I doubted his skills and thought maybe he isn't so great. I know he is, but those scenes really did him no favors as his lines did seem adlibbed there. Perhaps people think I am nitpicking but I disagree, the show took itself seriously, it wasn't meant to be silly and unserious so such a moment can't really be excused. Moments of comedy do not equal complete lapses of character. Even if you ignore the ridiculousness of that, it's still ridiculous. It was meant to be cute that he made the ramen for her, honestly it was all kind of creepy, voyeuristic and one sided. I get it was his job, but what separates him from stalkers that "bond" with their targets by watching them? If Ji Chang wasn't a hottie it'd honestly be creepy and disturbing, and she should not have any good memories of him at that point. But nevertheless, it was a ridiculous scene that showed his reasons for falling for her were so forced and contrived. Someone argued there's more bonding that happens offscreen, and that time is just likely condensed...fine, and I agree with that. But then don't expect the audience to buy the romance that you failed to sell. That goes for the bodyguard romance too. They all seemed to come out of nowhere. I know the writers are capable, because they portrayed Choi's feelings just fine. Yet they completely failed to sell me on the relationship between the two leads due to the lack of (and delayed) screen time Anna got with him. When you have to show a moment of bonding as a flashback that was an ad for Subway that never even happened onscreen, you've completely failed! I can't blame Anna's actor for this but the writers and maybe editing choices if this footage was cut out or they created too many scenes to cram into the show.
Ignoring the forced weirdness of the romance, the pacing of their relationship was horrible. For a man haunted by the trauma of watching his RECENTLY BETROTHED die before his eyes—a trauma that supposedly defines him and drives his revenge, his reason to wake up in the morning!—he sure moved on quickly. Other than a fleeting nightmare scene and a conversation on the roof, his grief and guilt are barely even paid any mind, making his sudden infatuation with Anna feel wildly inconsistent. This man is willing to live his life for the sole purpose of revenge, no way he should be moving on happily and NOT wary of getting close to people again.
The romance wasn’t just forced—it actively undermined the story and other characters. K2, a supposed ingenious mercenary capable of evading international authorities, suddenly devolves into a fool who makes reckless choices for Anna. He also survives and fights through mortal wounds somehow in order to save her. And Anna is the epitome of a plot-device damsel in distress. Watching her get kidnapped over and over again was both predictable and exhausting. And the incnsistencies in his character due to her existence in the story -- they say he's the guy who can't pull the trigger to kill and yet is fine pulling the trigger (or knife) to harm sometimes or indirectly be the reason for someone's death (the very end scenes, and pulling off some guy's poison gas mask). His character went from bada*s to complete simp that acted senselessly and completely lost interest in getting revenge for the death of his loved one. This all happens due to Anna's existence in the story.
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Anna’s Weak Character
What gets me is the people defending this poor writing by saying it's expected that a girl hidden away from the world is naive. Obviously I don't expect a girl in her circumstances to NOT be naive and weak, or to fight against trained operatives. But just bc it makes sense for her to be weak doesn't make for a fun viewing experience for the audience. Watching this is the same reason why we don't want to watch characters sleeping, taking their transport home, going to the bathroom and all the dull yet realistic things between scenes. None of those things are particularly fun to see on screen. Her portrayal as a helpless damsel dragged down the more interesting parts of the plot. It's not a fun watch but it's also not fair to a character, because she only exists for the sake of showing how great K2 is. It's problematic and the worthless damsel in distress is a painful watch in 2024. I recognize this is hindsight, but I'm finding old comments from when this show first aired of people making the same complaints. It seemed outdated then so it's definitely outdated now.
But worse, her character wasn’t even consistent. I'll bite and accept that excuse, but then you'd better have a good explanation for why a girl with a panic disorder who's been locked away from the world suddenly has great social skills and is giving speeches in front of crowds and at fashion shows filmed for the world to see! If we are chalking her portrayal up to her naivete then it's all or nothing, and this must be criticized as well. She is only a useless damsel when the plot needs her to be. If we are speaking of realism, she probably wouldn't even be able to step outside. Someone essentially imprisoned and isolated since childhood would have severe mental impairment that affects their ability to function normally, learn normally, or even communicate with words...she'd be unable to take care of herself let alone deal with a crowd. if we are speaking of realism, this entire show wouldn't exist as Anna would be mentally fried. You can't pick and choose when to use the realism argument. If we’re leaning on realism to defend her weaknesses, then we should also critique the lack of realism in her sudden competence (and everyone else's subsequent incompetence to give her plot armor.)
Anna’s arc was supposed to be about reclaiming her agency, but we never saw her actually overcoming anything. We never saw her overcome her phobias, or even what happened in that random one-day addiction on anxiety pills. We never saw the conclusion or any closure with the dude who ended up killing her mom. We never saw her character really grow or develop. She was static in the end, despite clearly the writers wanting to portray her as having grown. To the very end, it was K2 doing everything and never her taking fate into her own hands. We never really saw her bond with anyone to the point where her care for them made sense. Like the female bodyguard who spent years talking badly about her, and the "uncle" who she completely trusts for no reason in favor of K2 in a frustrating sequence of events. Perhaps they filmed too much and had to cram, but I have doubt it when in later episodes, they were desperately padding out runtime with long flashbacks of previous episodes. Poor plotting, plain and simple. She drags the rest of the plot down with her as it becomes about saving her over anything else.
A moment fresh for me where this really sticks out is the ending deaths of her father and Choi (not to mention the poor writing to allow the utter foolishness of even bringing Anna there around her "Uncle" and turning their backs to an enemy without subduing him). Characters seem to survive fatal gunshots, the father and Choi could have escaped at the end with Choi able to survive with medical attention. When he put the bomb inside the glass, Choi told him to save himself. But since he already gave the heroic dad speech, even though he had time to spare and get back, he was like..nahhh ima just die here it'd be awk to go back now after I sounded like a cool dad. He decided to stay and die for no reason. He also could have carried Choi and saved them both, and she could have still commanded Mirror to close the glass. What a silly scene with preventable deaths that only happened for the sake of poeticism and plot. I understand the way it wraps their characters up but the writing was poor and didn't convince me that the father and Choi Yoo-Jin's choices here were really any redemption or sacrifice. They were needless deaths, them dying served no sacrifice because they could have escaped with their lives as well and it wouldn't have changed anything. So it, in my opinion, failed to have any narrative payoff or redemption that these characters deserved.
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Choi Yoo-jin: The Star of the Show
In contrast to my critiques, Choi Yoo-jin was an absolute powerhouse. I ONLY, ONLY watched this show really for her. I arrived for Ji Chang but left for Song Yoon. The actress...WOW. Just WOW. Not only was her acting beyond just..AMAZING, but I do have to give it to the writers for creating such a character. I don't consider her a villain but she's the top of my list as favorite kdrama "villain" ever, and one of the best characters overall I've come across. What a beautiful character. Her duality as a ruthless political player and a deeply human character made her the most compelling figure in the series. The tension between her and K2 was far more interesting than anything involving Anna. Some folks might get mad that people liked the romantic tension between Choi and K2, but the show itself is to blame for setting it up. Anna wasn’t introduced until much later, and the original focus was on Choi and K2’s dynamic. Naturally, the audience will become invested based on when and HOW characters are showni. If the director wanted to be more balanced with character's liking Anna, then it was their total failure because checkov's gun is one of the most basic rules of cinema. I see people fussing in comments, but blame the director for the mixed signals, not the audience who only take in what they are shown.
But regardless, even without the romantic tension, Choi Yoo-jin carried the show. Her complexity, ambition, and vulnerability were brilliantly portrayed, making her a character you couldn’t take your eyes off. Her moral ambiguity—doing whatever it takes to survive in a cutthroat world—was more realistic and relatable than Anna’s one-dimensional purity. People who dismiss Choi as a villain probably view the world with tinted glasses that they are the heroes of their own story. But human beings are morally gray; they operate under moral ambiguity and have justifications for their behaviors all the same. Choi often saw herself as a victim. Now, I don't think her having people killed that are trying to kill her makes her a villain, but her using others and targeting innocents isn't okay. My point isn't to glamorize her actions but to point out that it isn't so simple to see her as some wicked villain. (And the comments that sound like this tend to be from younger viewers/ e.g. minors) The context of the world she has been brought up in of corruption and betrayal shouldn't be understated. Her character is a beautiful study on human nature and all its complexities. But yeah I found this character carried the show.
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Conclusion
The K2 might have been groundbreaking in its time, but watching it in 2024 highlights how poorly it has aged. Its outdated tropes and inconsistent writing make it a frustrating experience, especially when compared to the more nuanced and polished K-dramas of today. While it had a few redeeming qualities—primarily Choi Yoo-jin’s character, and small moments of humor or bromance; Ji Chang's good looking self; I liked the music well enough—they weren’t enough to save it from its own poor decisions. What could have been a gripping political thriller turned into a forgettable melodrama weighed down by an unnecessary and poorly executed romance. That's not even getting into the silly (but still entertaining enough) fight choreography. There ARE sweet moments between the leads but in order to enjoy them, I had to think of them as in a vacuum and ignore the rest of the story. For anyone considering this show, be prepared for a lot of missed opportunities. Healer with Ji Chang was much better, I loved it a lot when I watched it long ago (and he kisses better there and has actual chemistry with the FL.) For now, I'm off to find a drama that hopefully gives me what this drama COULD have been.
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