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Actions actually have consequences
This show seems shallow on the surface but after watching it unfold week by week it developed into a show that had me watching two people slowly and deeply fall in love in a way that I haven't seen much of in Kdramas.Normally I'm not a fan of Cinderella dramas because the ML never seems to truly understand how the real world works and it always feels like the power imbalance is off by too much. I get irritated by how forgiving the seemingly strong FL lead is and wonder if after the drama is over, their marriage turns into the hate-toxic one the ML's parents usually have written.
I was worried that this might be the case with how clueless he seems about everything outside his rich bubble, but that wasn't the case with this drama.
I liked that she wasn't teaching him how to be an adult, to have empathy for others or just outright teaching him to be a person as though she was his mother. She was just being herself around him, honestly speaking her mind and by being by her side he opened his own mind to things outside of his perspective.
She refused to change who she is, refusing to stop smiling or letting negativity seep into her self worth and her mental strength is amazing. She solved problems in her own way, using her own experience in life to be the best she could and follow her dreams.
I really enjoyed that there were actual consequences to his initial attention. His games and attempts at grand gestures were seen as inappropriate and often blew up in his face. I appreciated that we got to see the consequences of these moments and it wasn't done with the usual Kdrama clichés. Because in reality, his seemingly big romance gestures could have harmed her reputation and in past dramas, this would have been brushed over and forgiven because he "wouldn't have known."
The initial jealousy from others who already think low of her due to her education was realistic and the face that there were supportive people too made that usual impending doom of potential bullying scenes disappear because again, she was able to use everything in her arsenal to win them over that it would have felt hollow without a peer whose joy I could vicariously live through.
The practised smile she held throughout the show became more and more genuine as did his, their awkward photoshoot a stark contrast to their shared smile over his part timer interview.
When he approached her honestly and without all the flair, it became perfect to me. It played into is dislike for fakeness and the change in proposal solidified that for me.
There is no unnecessary breaks-ups or love triangles and they actually voice their thoughts and feelings like mature adults. This blooms into a beautiful romance that had me squealing like a giddy teenager whenever they pulled something obnoxiously cute (that restaurant photo got me!)
My only negative would have been the ML's family. I feel as though there could have been more there, especially with the father and the sister. I would have loved to have seen him grow an understanding and earnest bond with his sister, to share in the things he'd learned and heal from her feelings of neglect from childhood.
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**Mentions of SA & ED**Our FL is a brilliant and passionate cook, but she is still cooking for her mother's students instead of following her dream of being a chef and doesn't seem to have that push to follow that dream.
The film begins with our endearing yet apathetic FL who instantly gets judged for buying lots of pudding, but it turns out they are for the children she's cooking for and we get to watch her create delicious meals for them with ease, before talking to her mother who spends her daughter's birthday putting her down, doesn't turn up to her self-cooked birthday meal and simply texts her "eat less." "You're getting fatter."
Some neighbourhood kids decide to mess with our FL, because simply existing as a plus size woman is just unacceptable and they throw eggs at her, this is followed by some comic relief with her opening the door to a smiling delivery driver with a meat cleaver aimed for him.
It turns out her mother has bought something for her daughter's birthday after all, she's signed her up for a weight loss programme. When she gets there, the instructor asks her why she wants to lose weight and her response of "My mom wants me to." With such a deadpan face made me almost spit my drink out.
On a hot summer's day, she meets her neighbour on the stairs and the two walk up to their respective doors, only for the elderly man to attack and grope her from behind before she throws him down the stairs. The wife of course says the husband would never as he's hauled off in an ambulance, our FL is too ugly to molest obviously so why would he /s? Until our ML comes out to defend her. He comforts our FL and reveals he used to be fat himself before he invites her to come for a ride in his van while he finishes his deliveries.
The two begin to bond and become fast friends, with the secrets of our ML's weight loss revealed after the FL notices marks on his knuckles and after she follows him with his left-behind work lanyard, she discovers him throwing up the food she'd just cooked for him.
The people around her treat her as though she's something to be ashamed of, the ML treats her as just a delivery client when his friend enquires who she is (but that may be his own shame at her finding out about his ED) and her mother doesn't put her chef photo into the menu. The weight loss centre seems to switch between constantly chastising her and pushing supplements/weight loss surgery. From every angle you can practically feel the world suffocating her step by step and the actress plays that sense of battered deflation so well.
Her breakdown and quiet sobbing in her bedroom after her fight with her mother had me crying right along with her.
She leaves the job at her mother's academy and decides to get the weight loss surgery, every step of it alone and her depression is clear to see in the way she acts and looks, no need for her to say a word.
This movie and this actress are great at showing her mindset in every scene. It's evident when she loses her sense of taste and her food starts to be affected, her joy and final straw seemingly broken.
The way she confessed to her mother how she'd tried everything and still wasn't good enough had me crying for a second time, it was a quiet moment between mother and daughter that shouldn't have had to happen for her mother to see her as a person. A broken, tired person. But it was needed, it was a cathartic scene and I enjoyed the people watching and seeing her smile.
I liked the side plot of the little boy and how he brought a sense of hope in the story, that maybe his life would be different when he grows up and it really showed how no matter how many people judge our FL, she had never done it to someone else.
There are a lot of quiet, contemplative moments in this movie, with soft music and the orange/red hue giving it a hazy feeling that pull you into the almost mundane, repetitive and sedimentary life the FL lives and I couldn't stop watching. All the praise to the main female lead as her acting and chemistry with the other actors gave it such a slice of life feeling that I got lost in the film. The cinematography and direction was beautiful and at some points you almost felt like you were walking with the female lead and her discomfort in a world that doesn't just not accommodate her but demonises her for just being her. I will definitely watch this again in the future, such a brilliant film!
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The first time I watched this drama it was rushed and I found myself moderately enjoying it. I didn't think much of it and moved on. But then I decided to watch it again a year later and paid closed attention, feeling myself glued in to every scene. This is a story about two very depressed and emotionally repressed people who find meaning, love and a want for life because of each other.
Doom is apathetic, disillusioned, bored, depressed and wants the world to end so his role will end. Essentially, he wants to die and he knows he can't. (Which makes me wonder how many times he's tried to be so sure of this.) He finally gets a chance when he meets our FL and you can see the way he changes throughout the show, to feel, to empathise and to love someone more than you hate yourself.
Dong Kyung is someone who lives for others. She works to give her brother an allowance, to let her aunt to live abroad with her husband and in a way her profession allows her to be a sounding board/helper to the writers she edits for. She lost her parents early on in life and buries her emotions deep, always keeping a stiff upper lip and hiding her own depression with practised ease. When she gets the new about her terminal illness, she doesn't react in the way a "perfect victim" would. She laughs it off and goes on about her day as though there is nothing to worry about and that makes sense for her character. Depression takes away your ability to feel things the way you're supposed to, it dampens your emotions and you allow yourself to be swept through every day by hiding it with humour and work and the writer shows this well I think.
Their bond isn't immediate and it initially starts with a mutual curiosity. The other is strange and unique, they don't react like everyone else and it throws the two off balance and their mundane routines.
Doom finally gets his wish and Dong Kyung is stick in an impossible dilemma. Her choices will end with either the person she loves dying or the whole world dying, a real life trolley problem given to someone who has already lost so much.
She figures out a loop hole though and without thinking it through, decides to love Doom so he will be the person she loves the most and take her brother's place. He seems amused by her determination and plays along at first until their feelings spark something in the two.
You can see their stony faces and imaginary walls begin to slowly crumble the more their love grows and although some of their words are dipping into that defensive humour and bravado, they are hesitant and terrified of it. Dong Kyung's breakdown when she finally starts to allow herself to feel the grief over her death was devastating and had me in tears and it was perfect that Doom was the person she let it all out to. In that moment, he could share in that grief and it was such a heartfelt and genuine bond of love between them.
The Deity had seen all of this coming of course, her own little Pinocchio was slowly becoming a real boy but she needed to throw wrenches in there to see if this was truly an enduring love. Even with the stunts she pulled, they couldn't quite forget each other and it seemed to cement the Deity's decision to have him as a new flower in her garden once he fully bloomed.
I think this drama was perfect in showing the grieving process, I would loved to have seen how it would affect the other characters more but that's okay. These two broken people were able to mend each other and their unwavering and selfless love was beautiful to watch grow.
My only dislike of this series was the second leads storyline, it felt empty and disjointed in their lives and with how long it had been between high school and now, a bit stale. I would have loved for Ji Na and Hyun Gu to have maybe met up and discussed their first loves. The immaturity of their relationship and how they are different people now, deciding to move on from the get go. A slow build of Joo Ik and Ji Na could have equally been as beautiful if grown from a place of mutual adoration and respect instead of pity.
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