My first review on this site was about my best friend who had passed last year from a drug overdose. How 'Hi Bye, Mama!' explored the permanent effects of a sudden loved one's death had on them, and how unfair life is that you can never give them a proper send-off, was something that resonated deeply with me - especially having watched it so soon after my friend's passing.

A year has gone by, and I came across Stranger one day and finally got around to watching it amidst a lacklustre summer of productivity (or lack thereof). While it was genuinely a solid drama backed by an intriguing plot and excellent acting (as expected when you have Bae Doo-na in the line-up), there was a scene in particular that brought back the same sorrow I experienced while watching HBM.

It was revealed that Yoon had murdered Park due to his involvement in a traffic accident that led to the death of Yoon's 6-year-old son, along with thirteen (fourteen?) other kindergarten kids, through a web of corruption and cover-ups. He had murdered Park as he lost all belief in the justice system, and how the people responsible for such an atrocity were walking around as free men and growing more and more powerful every passing second - while he had to deal with the pain of suddenly losing his son as a result of the people he worked under.

I was confused as to whether or not I should despise Yoon.

He mentioned that he had a wish. Before the coach carrying the children exploded into flames, it had flipped over. Yoon's wish was that he hoped his son died on the impact of the crash - rather than the slow painful sensation of burning to death, one rarely fit for anyone let alone a child. He refused to participate in his son's autopsy, as he didn't want to risk knowing that his child died from inhaling the flames that would soon turn his lifeless body into nothing but a slab of charcoal.

It dawned on me that I had expressed similar hope for my best friend when I heard about his death. While dying from a drug overdose is considerably different from dying through impact or fire, I had wished that, for someone who suffered through such a troubled upbringing, yet was so unimaginably filled with love, his final moments were that of such utter bliss that he had simply forgotten to breathe to the point that he peacefully left... rather than have the thoughts that had torn his life apart up to that point ultimately overtake him.

The idea that my best friend died in a state of nirvana was the only thing that kept me going at the time. And in a way, I empathised with Yoon with what he had done; not because I agreed with his self-righteous action of killing another human being, but because I could understand his pain of losing a loved one -- and the self-inflicted compromises that naturally come with the cycle of grief.

If my best friend did die in a euphoric state, I hope that stayed with him on his journey to Paradise.