Amor na Cidade Grande (2024)

A raw and realistic depiction of a gay man's search for eternal love and himself

This is quite an emotional roller coaster of a story. I never read the novel and didn’t know much about the drama. I thought this might be your typical romantic-comedy but actually, this is a very realistic portrayal of a gay man searching for eternal love, and growing up along the way.

From the first episode, you know this is not your typical BL. The portrayal of the friendship, late night clubbing and hunting, and the drunken hookups are raw and real. “Love in the Big City” doesn't shy away from the harsh reality of finding love, and the difficulty compounds when you are a gay man in a conservative society.

Ko Yeong’s growth is shown through his different romantic relationships with a few men. You can see him grow from a fun-loving young man not believing in love, to realizing he might have lost the love of his life. Each relationship is unique and all have a very interesting start. This drama reminds me of the American TV show “Queer as Folk”. It might not be as daring, but daring enough to cause controversies in Korea.

When Ko Yeong met Nam Gyu, he was young and not ready to be loved. Nam Guy’s unconditional and persistent display of love did not end on a good note. When Ko Yeong was ready and met Yeong Su, it was the other party that’s not ready. It’s unfortunate because they had such a sexy vibe going on between them. Gyu Ho is the match made in heaven. They are both so adorable together and just click. At that time, they are both fighting real life’s challenges and unable to balance romance with career’s demands and reality’s tests of their love. By the time Ko Yeong realized what he had lost, it was a little too late. His meeting of Habibi is interesting and also somewhat of a half-baked story. I was having a hard time understanding Ko Yeong’s last message to Habibi. I thought it was just a fling without much deep feelings, but his message sounded more serious than I thought.

A highlight of the show is the friendship between Ko Yeong and Mi Ae. When you are an outcast, it’s really a blessing to have a friend like that through the highs and lows of your life. But as they grow older, such a friendship has to evolve as they get on with their lives. I had wished to see more of Mi Ae towards the second half of the drama, and not just that somewhat useless drinking scene with her sister-in-law.

I gotta give props to Nam Yoon Su for going all out in this drama. He really didn’t care for the criticisms directed at him. Not only was his acting great, he did not shy away from all the kisses and sexy scenes. In fact, I think he was a little too earnest like he’s going to someone’s face each time. I would have liked him to pull back a little on a couple kisses to show a more romantic side.

As I mentioned, the whole drama is about Ko Yeong’s growth through his relationships. Personally, I am not a big fan of this style of writing. At one point, I find it becomes repetitive when all we see is him going from one relationship to another. However, I am emotionally invested. I cry with Ko Yeong as he gets hurt and suffers through life. Throughout the drama, I was rooting for him to live happily ever-after, either with Gyu Ho or someone else.

I do recommend “Love in the Big City” but don’t go into thinking this is another fluffy BL. The strength of this drama is its realism and how Ko Yeong lives with the scars of each relationship and grows from them, and finds himself.



p.s. the drama synopsis doesn't seem to be 100% correct.


Completed: 10/21/2024 - Review #501

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Chasing the thrill, hoping for love, self-sabotaging

Two episodes in I wasn’t sure if I could share everyone’s excitement about this series. I’ve seen people talking about it as this great breakthrough, a masterpiece, a game changer, and while I acknowledged how having a mainstream actor play a gay character and having actual national funding for a BL show was changing the landscape for kdramas. However, from a perspective of just a regular viewer, who ultimately expects to experience a good piece of televised fiction, I wasn’t really convinced.

Sure, the drama was well-produced, the acting was solid, I couldn’t really complain much about the story progression, as it felt pretty unforced. And yet, I couldn’t really resonate emotionally with the characters. Being it Go Young or his female friend Choi Mi Ae. I attributed it to the style of the story and the manner it was told. Time jumps, skipping important moments when people develop connections, not witnessing how they get closer or grow apart – it all made it difficult for me to develop an emotional connection with the characters as well.

It all changed around episode 3 or 4, e.i. during No Yeong Su and Go Young’s dating era. Their final encounter, during which Go Young ends up punching his (then already an ex) boyfriend was the turning point for me, the moment when I actually felt something (before I did tear up a bit when Go Young and Mi Ae reconnected, but this scene in the restaurant hit me waaay stronger). The look on Yeong Su’s face expressing both self-disdain and resignation really got me. Since then, I’d become more and more invested within every episode, getting used to the report-like narration and time jumps that stopped hindering my ability to immerse myself within a story and became just another tool to highlight its realism. From that moment onward, I did feel like I was given glimpses into different stages of Go Young’s life.

I loved the development of Go Young’s relationship with his mom and her gradual, quiet acceptance of his sexual orientation towards the end of her life. I started understanding Go Young more, noticing how he craves for love, but self-sabotages himself at the same time. That was a big theme for me in this drama, that’s how I saw it. Go Young is chasing love, but at the same time is not allowing it to happen. Affected by having to live with “Kyle”, being cheated on by a boyfriend who gave it to him, and a traumatising childhood experience of his father leading a double life all rendered him wanting love, but not really believing he deserves it.

Nam Gyu is too boring and clingy, so Go Young discards him in a pretty brutal, emotionless way. Then he gets himself entangled in a toxic relation with Yeong Su – a guy who pretty quickly starts to look like a red flag. Go Young clings to him almost in a similar manner like Nam Gyu clung to him before. Why? Partially probably because he was clearly very physically attracted to the guy and Yeong Su had a way to make a person feel like crap, just to throw them a bone from time to time, in order to keep them invested. But my take on it is that, because Yeong Su was never truly attainable, Go Young would end up trying harder. If Yeong Su actually got invested in their relationship 100% and dealt with his internalized homophobia, I’d wager Go Young would probably want out.

Finally, he meets Gyu Ho – probably the strongest candidate for a life-long partner. And yet he lets him go, despite two of them somehow managing to stay together, dealing with the challenges of every day life, its mundane aspects and gradual boredom that sets in their relationship. The relationship with Gyu Ho, while exposing Go Young’s somewhat immature idea of what love should be (a constant source of excitement), was still – in the end – the most mature one. Go Young and Gyu Ho try to resolve their issues, they attempt the rekindle the spark by going to Bangkok, and both work hard on studying Chinese in hope of moving to Shanghai together. And yet, in the end, Go Young sends Gyu Ho off alone, with a “blessing” to date other people. Once again sabotaging his chance for true love.

He doesn’t realize his mistake only until much later. But if they had a chance to have another go at their relationship, I’m not sure if he'd approach it differently. What happens after Gyo Ho’s departure, the ending to a "Habibi arch", the symbolic moving to a new place (as opposed to living in Mi Ae’s old apartment – which was highlighted in Go Young’s dream in one of the earlier episodes as mirroring him being stuck in life, with no clear direction) gives some hope, I suppose?

What originally started as a story of Seoul party goers who don’t always make the most responsible life decisions, eventually turned into quite a deep portrayal of a scarred individual, who tries to navigate his life amidst all the challenges it throws at him. I ended up really enjoying the experience and can understand why this show got so much hype.

There is so much more to say about this drama and more layers to uncover, whether it's Mi Ae's 180 turn in her life attitude not long after getting an abortion, Yeong Su's extreme way of dealing with his sexuality, or Go Young's self-destructive behaviour after receiving gifts from his father. It definitely is one of these shows that leave an audience with a lot of "food for brain". To me, personally, next to The On1y One, it's the best BL drama I've watched (I'm aware not everyone considers it a BL) and also one of the best kdramas.

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Why does no one ever have the courage untill it is too late!

A heartbreaking and yet beautiful tale of flawed people, that's how I would describe this. Also, a stunning gay-themed show from Korea after a rather long time.

The story meanders through Ko Yeong's life and struggles as he goes from one love interest to other, failing the first one, love-hating the second, and loosing the last one, which ultimately makes him find himself in ways....

If you are a gay man (or even a woman) growing up or living in a big city in Asia, you'd find so many characters that will seem familiar...the story, while depending on some of the usual cliches of gay-besties gang (girl gang) and that hallowed chosen family support, does deliver a rather realistic and relatable story of a sort-of-closeted gay man from a conservative family, weighed down by the pressures of being the good son, the fabulous gay man, and also living that 'I dont give a shit bitch-will have fun' big city life, while pining for love that feels like home....all at the same time.

Yeong abandons the first one that loves him dearly, Kim, the most dedicated and stable one, because he isn't cool enough...(haven't we seen that happen like every other day in the gay dating scene!!).....fast forward the next one he falls for, No Yeong is, no surprises, the emotionally unavailable one, deep into the closet, with several unresolved issues and baggage...which expectedly, can only end in a traumatic way, and it does (again, a story that we see happen all around)....fast forward.....Yeong grows some....and then comes Gyu Ho, the real deal, the one he loves and the one who loves him back, the way he is...and I thought Yeong's confession about his being HIV+ to Gyu Ho was plain beautiful....the vulnerability, emotions, and desperation is portrayed so beautifully....but off course feeling loved as your authentic self is the most difficult and scary thing there is, right? The fear of losing makes us leave them before they do....but here the story is slightly less predictable, Yeong and Gyu really understand how strong their love is, and really try to work things out...but the fear.....THE FEAR...never goes away.....and that makes Yeong almost force separate from Gyu Ho.....in other words, he runs away from that one love that made him feel like he's safe and home.

The story, delves deep into the layers and nuances of a queer life...there is the obvious references to homophobia, struggles of living with HIV, the trauma of enforced closets and dual lives, the lack of love, care, safety and often betrayal by family, the contempt from society, and how religious dogma can turn people into monsters,...and then the beauty of finding support and love from your chosen family and finding a space that you can belong to.....it takes you through many a familiar feeling that is validating in ways.....at the same time it flags the lack of courage to accept ourselves and all others around us, as their everyday, non-glamorous, non-thrilling selves that is ...it definitely touches upon the all-too-familiar pressures of having that perfect and fabulous relationship, reaching the pinnacles of unrealistic standards of 'romance-that stuns and outdoes everyone'......and how the everyday mundane comfort around each other, the snoring, the stains that stay, and the 'don't have mind-blowing sex most of the time' familiarity, end up being no match for that....that is, until you find the courage to be just yourself, warts and all, and find beauty and comfort in it....find the courage to allow yourself to love and be loved with all your flaws, failing, and shadows........but, by that time, it is usually too late...or is it??

The series has a bit of an open ending, which one can interpret the way they want ...with a passing allusion to the possibility of Gyu Ho coming back to Seoul, hope floats.....just may be, Yeong moves out of his old apartment and moves into a new one...it ends as fireworks light up the sky, with Yeong and his gay-gang, seemingly happy celebrating their own selves....

But the question lingers, why does no one ever have the courage until it is too late!

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LIFE AT ITS PUREST

"i wonder why you sleep in utter silence like you're constantly on tiptoe. as if you're never home, no matter how long you've lived here. "

Pure, raw and both beautifully written and directed. I don't recall any other korean show with this level of realism. It's just life. With its ups and down, the bounds we create, the love we seek, the distance we fall apart.

I loved how the story was told, the connections Go Young make on his journey navigating into the universe we live in and the society we sometimes feel rejected from. It's heavy but also very simple, a sigh of what it is to be alive. I was giggling, screaming, got sad, felt the happiness, peace and despair. His relationship with Gyuho broke me into pieces.

Nam Yoonsu, how to not fall in love with you. What a great cast and amazing performances from the whole team. I beg for more shows like this to come.

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Like a slap in my face

I’m speechless, I mean I don’t know how to begin with.. It’s raw, beautiful, it’s daring, it’s relatable… The series set the bar high in terms of the great acting, what they want to convey and the topics they’ve brought up in it but also of course, the really nice cinematography.

It feels like, each episode is like a movie in which we kind of witness what happened around him, his feelings, his relationships. It’s like following his chapters of his life.

After watching it, I had bittersweet feelings yet I’m impressed, it was a bit too real.

Sorry it was quite short but I think I sum up my thoughts on this series.

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A Realistic, Raw Story

I genuinely loved watching this series so much! I've watched many BL series, but this one has made its way up to my top 3 for sure. I've never been so immersed and related to a series as much as I have this one. There is just so much this 8 episode series unpacked with just the right pace; nothing felt too fast or too slow. The scenes were depicted beautifully too, they lingered for long enough for the viewer to almost feel as if they are in the scene with the character themselves. Genuinely, every scene felt so raw and vulnerable through the lingering scenes. Just so, so perfect. Through the heartbreaking moments, which I was devastated on by the way, I could feel why the characters responded in the ways that they did. The series actually deserves to win so many awards, and the actors did such an incredible job at playing every character with so much sincerity. I fucking love the entire cast and their dedication to their roles to deliver such an amazing series portraying such a raw and real side of being a queer person in this world through so many themes. I'm planning on rewatching it soon again, I'm definitely going to need a new box of tissues.

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